User Talk & Personal Stuff

[Kumatora]

I'm still having dreams when I'm stranding in crowds of people with no mask!

a moment of lucidity...

[Taycamgame]

Damn, three days? I only go in-person for two, luckily towards the end of the week and not the beginning like group a, it gives my brain a chance to adjust and wake the fuck up lol

I go to school each week, Monday to Friday. :/

[krakin]

Damn, three days? I only go in-person for two, luckily towards the end of the week and not the beginning like group a, it gives my brain a chance to adjust and wake the fuck up lol

I go to school each week, Monday to Friday. :/

Aw, that's even worse, especially if you've been attending online classes for a long time before then

[Chanceux2]

UPDATE:

I'm not completely leaving. I may be active here just SMBX2 but im not posting until I am mature enough

also imao I just looked at my old post and I see why everyone hated me lol

[Sonya Sanchez]

Again no one hated on you? People gave you feedback and criticism, that is not hating on you.

I’m glad though that you are making a decision like this considering you are still pretty young to be around here.

[Cedur]

I forgot to say.

I'm not completely leaving. I may be active here just SMBX2 but im not posting until I am mature enough

also imao I just looked at my old post and I see why everyone hated me lol

that's a good insight already. Even though I couldn't even call it "hate"

[Danny]

I'm not exactly sure if this is the right place to put this, but its something I've been mulling over for the past couple of weeks and it's just something I've been wanting to get off my chest for some time now. I know I'm not active in this community like I once was, and I don't recognize a lot of the current folk here (either because you came after my time or because of my poor memory), but I know pretty well and I've been living with the guilt that I was a horrible person throughout my 10 or so years here, and it's something that I've been struggling to shake even in my personal life. I know a lot of the current people active in the community likely don't know me, and those that do probably forgot about anything I've said or done, which is fair, I don't see myself as a particularly memorable person to begin with, much less someone who brought in any good or happy memories.

This community meant a lot to me growing up, for a lot of different personal reasons that I won't get into, and instead of appreciating it for what it did for me, I was instead a constant antagonistic force and I caused people a lot of trouble and a lot of pain. I look back at my past here with a lot of regret and disgust, I said things in my teenaged arrogance that I would never say today, I attacked people who did nothing wrong, and I acted in such a toxic and vile manner that I hardly recognize any of my past actions as being from myself. Most of the people that I had antagonized, staff and user alike, aren't part of this community anymore or they hardly come by, and I'd personally find it odd and out of place for me to make amends with people individually, people who have likely forgotten about me or anything I've done, people who have moved on from caring, and because I can't even remember everybody I would have been a total ass to.

So, for lack of a better method, I'd like to apologize. I'm sorry to those that I've hurt and for the things that I've said, to those that remember my unnecessary, pedantic arguing and my frequent instigating, and I'm absolutely sorry for the disgusting and inexcusable things that I've left in my past. I have no excuses for how I acted, and I have no words to express how upset, disgusted, and disappointed I am in myself, even more so when reading back on my old, old posts.

I know it's not much to say it, but I'm a vastly different person now compared to who I was before, which was a ridiculously unintelligent, angst-filled teen, though I suppose that goes without saying. I've had a lot of self-reflection in the past couple of years, and I'm confident in saying that I've improved my behavior and personality, and I'm proud of who I am today and in the ways that I continue to grow, not that I need any sort of self-gratification. I'm just truly sorry for my past behavior, actions, and words. I'm not looking for any sort of forgiveness from anyone, I'm just hoping that I can finally set aside this huge part of my past that's been bothering at me for quite some time now.

To wrap up an already overly long post: Despite the hardships, I want to thank the SMBX community as a whole for being pretty much the one and only place I stuck around on the internet, I can think of several other places I could have been at that would have probably been way worse for my development as a person. This community is directly responsible for the friends I have today, as well as my interest in game development among other hobbies, and for my extended love for Nintendo. Thank you for all the good years, SMBXC.

[Cedur]

Much thumbs up for this post.

[krakin]

This post was a little heartbreaking to read, to say the least. I mean, we've all had to have gone down this road or something similar before, and I just feel I relate to this so much, considering the similarities personality-wise. I'm glad you're taking steps to self-improvement, especially in this time where we've needed to change our lifestyles completely.

Most of the people that I had antagonized, staff and user alike, aren't part of this community anymore or they hardly come by, and I'd personally find it odd and out of place for me to make amends with people individually, people who have likely forgotten about me or anything I've done, people who have moved on from caring, and because I can't even remember everybody I would have been a total ass to.

Don't beat yourself up over this too much; if some people decide not to forgive you for some reason, then that's on them and not you. You did your part and that's all that really matters.

I'm not looking for any sort of forgiveness from anyone, I'm just hoping that I can finally set aside this huge part of my past that's been bothering at me for quite some time now.

I'm most definitely forgiving you, although I don't remember how we interacted with each other, I don't care enough to try and search up any posts and dredge up the past. What's important is that you did what many people wouldn't have been composed to do; taking responsibility for your actions is pretty tough to accomplish, numerous amounts of people struggle with this, myself included. Nobody is perfect by any measure, but it doesn't necessarily mean that we can't try to improve, even if it's something subtle.

On a completely unrelated subject:

please bear with me: show

In a couple of days, I'll be turning my school computer in. This means that I won't be able to access anything SMBX, or anything involving the internet for that matter. "But why don't you just use your phone instead?", I hear you ask. I want to be able to actually download and play SMBX, which is something I haven't been able to do in quite some time, and also something I can't do with a phone. Not to mention, my phone has been acting up lately, and the screen is badly cracked, so I'd rather only use it if I really need to. I've also got a couple of nosy sisters essentially watching my every move, so...yeah.

"What does any of this have to do with you, exactly?" No computer means no way to search the forums here, or any other related sites, hang around on Discord, or get in contact with anybody in general. What does this mean? I'll be going away for an undisclosed amount of time until I get a computer and some privacy. I know what you're thinking, "Not another one of these posts!". I've probably done this for about the umpteenth time now, but this time is for real. I haven't been able to contribute much to the community, and I feel like dead weight. I want to be able to do something, anything, like making levels or maybe even custom gfx and complete episodes. But in my current state, I don't have the time, resources, patience, or privacy to do any of this, and to be completely honest, I need another mental break anyways.

There are more important things I need to focus my time and energy on, like making sure I don't fail my classes right before graduation, and thinking about where I'm headed after that. The last thing I need is to be distracted at this time. I was able to reset the password to my old Google account, and then able to access my old channel, which I'm currently in the middle of rebranding. There's just to much on my plate right now to manage, and with my current mood and stress levels, I don't need to add to it considering my track record of handling my emotions. My ADHD brain is already running around at 1,000 miles per hour because of the amount of time I spend on the internet, so hopefully I can wind down and get much-needed closure with this graduation coming up.

I don't have any exact date for when I'll be active again, or even if I'll continue to be active, since I've lost a significant amount of interest in SMBX going forward, and have found other games that captured my attention. I'm almost certain nobody will care that I've left, but for anybody who does and thinks I'm dead or something: I'm not. To sum it up, I just need time to recuperate and (recalibrate?) my mind before I completely lose it, and think about where I want my life to go. Or, as a certain someone would put it: "The world's a little blurry, or maybe it's my eyes".

[ElectriKong]

Well the most memorable moment coming from Danny for me would be

Here's some constructive criticism: What the hell.

[Chanceux2]

-snip-

[Danny]

Well the most memorable moment coming from Danny for me would be

Here's some constructive criticism: What the hell.

Funnily enough, I was skimming through a bunch of old Mafia threads and posts for the nostalgia, and I came across that quote a whole bunch of times. All the drama aside, I do miss the Mafia subcommunity that we had thriving here, fun times were had with that.

[Cedur]

As you can see here viewtopic.php?f=50&t=25678 there's still a tiny bit of mafia activity in some discord server

[krakin]

Well the most memorable moment coming from Danny for me would be

Here's some constructive criticism: What the hell.

Funnily enough, I was skimming through a bunch of old Mafia threads and posts for the nostalgia, and I came across that quote a whole bunch of times. All the drama aside, I do miss the Mafia subcommunity that we had thriving here, fun times were had with that.

I remember when I first saw that quote, I've never exhaled air so fast before

[Danny]

As you can see here viewtopic.php?f=50&t=25678 there's still a tiny bit of mafia activity in some discord server

Interesting, glad to see people are still keeping it alive. I think there was a point here where things went a little overboard, but I can still remember some fun times being had, especially with the creation process and getting to see all of the different kinds of games people wanted to run.

[Taycamgame]

As you can see here viewtopic.php?f=50&t=25678 there's still a tiny bit of mafia activity in some discord server

Interesting, glad to see people are still keeping it alive. I think there was a point here where things went a little overboard, but I can still remember some fun times being had, especially with the creation process and getting to see all of the different kinds of games people wanted to run.

There isn't a game currently going on but we plan to begin from next week.
You can certainly join if you'd like to play mafia again. Times have changed and there is no drama there, so it's overall a more enjoyable experience.

[Uranus]

As you can see here viewtopic.php?f=50&t=25678 there's still a tiny bit of mafia activity in some discord server

Interesting, glad to see people are still keeping it alive. I think there was a point here where things went a little overboard, but I can still remember some fun times being had, especially with the creation process and getting to see all of the different kinds of games people wanted to run.

There isn't a game currently going on but we plan to begin from next week.
You can certainly join if you'd like to play mafia again. Times have changed and there is no drama there, so it's overall a more enjoyable experience.

We also do some other stuff like Among Us and Jackbox.

[Chanceux2]

I'm sorry I can't stop thinking about the posts I made. It's so hard to leave a place and accept that im not old enough for this place. If any mods or admins or whoever can delete posts, could you please delete my posts, I want to have a fresh start and I don't want to stress out any longer

[Sonya Sanchez]

You can’t erase the past, what happened did happen! Just act like a civil person and you be fine!

[Chanceux2]

[size=50]just looking at my Flair makes me laugh.[/size]

yeah i guess.
EDIT: man I cant even change the size of text.